There’s a meme that’s been circling around, and I smile every time I see it; “Being an adult is making plans with an old friend, but never actually following through.”
Ain’t that the truth.
Relationships are hard. I can’t tell you how many times I see someone and say, “We should get together.”
This isn’t a lie.
It comes from a place of honesty.
But honestly, we probably won’t… although… we Might.
I like the Might.
I like the Might because I know if the Might happens, it’s going to happen in a moment we need it.
Last night, as my daughter and I lay in bed yakking about life, we got on the topic of relationships. About how and when important people come into our lives.
“I know Mom, you told me it’ll be a long time before I get to meet my most important friends. Like, high school.”
Of course, in her little life, high school is pretty far into her future. She wondered at the fact that while she has a life full of wonderful friends, she may have to wait a few more years before she meets the people who could be her ‘humans.’
I reminded her that I have friends who I met as a newborn, friends from elementary school, and friends from high school, who are still my humans to this day. But there are so many more that have intersected my path through adulthood. Even today, at the ripe old age of 34 (almost 35), I’m meeting new humans that are molding my world.
She wrinkled her brow and asked about the friends I only see on rare occasions. The ones I talk about, but never actually hang out with.
I explained that while they’ve played important parts in my past, I could never predict how or when they would play a part of my future.
We have little say in the way that our humans affect our story. At any given moment we Might be met with the game changers. The ones whose impact will travel with us through our years.
Some, we’ll journey beside for the long haul. Some, we’ll meet for only a second. Some, we’ll meet for a second time before we realize their value.
There will be some who motivate us. Some who challenge us. But they are all placed on our timeline with purpose. In that moment, we are stirred by something electric.
This is a notion my mother instilled in me. She often uses the word, Kismet (or the Arabic: Kismat). It’s the unexplained run-ins that pop up right when we need them. It can be called fate, or destiny. But I love the way Kismet rolls off the tongue. It’s familiar, but still holds a hint of the foreign. The word itself allows space for the unknown.
Kismet speaks to chance encounters. Whether you’re in a common place and you find someone incredibly uncommon. Or you’re in an unfamiliar setting and find a familiar face. It’s a numinous connection, a pull or push that you can’t shy away from. The way you fall into place and you know, almost instantly, this encounter is predestined. I don’t mean to romanticize it, but that’s my nature. Because when you catch each other’s eye, you are at the mercy of Kismet, and you just know it.
I’m lucky that I was raised to never write off these types of meetings as coincidence. That would be too easy. I was taught to appreciate and indulge in the blessing of human connection. So when I find someone who shapes me, I hold them dear. Whether I meet them for a minute, a year, or a lifetime.
This is something I hope to pass down to my children.
When my daughter wonders about how and when she will meet her humans, I encourage her to keep journeying along her own trail, but to always be open to the power of Kismet. Open to the notion that at any given moment, another will appear on her path and awaken her to new possibilities.
While relationships come with expectations, we have to keep faith in the unexpected. Because it’s in those chance meetings that we Might find exactly what we need, exactly when we need it.